Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Bits & Pieces

Random Slices Of Life

The dog days of summer are here. It's a struggle just to keep your haid from asploding whenever you go outside. You can always tell the tinfoil hat paranoiacs. They're the ones that look like a pan of Jiffy Pop by mid-afternoon...

Nothing major going on, just trying to stay cool and stay off the radar of the high muckity-muck at The Man's orifice, er... office.

OK, in no particular order:

1) To Mr. (NAME REDACTED) - I saw your friend request on Facebook. I will be ignoring it. We did indeed attend high school together, we both were in marching band for 4 years, and I think we had one other class together. Normally that would be enough for me to approve the friend request.

However... Even though YOU might have forgotten after almost 30 years, I most certainly did NOT forget that you banged my girlfriend while I was out of town in the summer of 1985. I can't blame you, she had a great rack and could suck-start a shovel-head Harley. Still, some things are just not done, old boy. Into the bit-bucket with you...

2) An addition to the sharp & pointy thing collection is arriving by mail any day now. Joining my Cold Steel Kukhri machete is the Cold Steel Gladius machete, based on the old Roman sword design. It's gonna be quite useless for chopping underbrush, but I'm betting that point will pierce that fat possum I keep seeing in the backyard...

3) "B-b-b-but I DIDN'T steal any Pic-A-Nic baskets!!"

4) Even Elder Gods were teenagers at one time...

5) Be very careful if you're visiting the neighborhood. Some kinda gremlin is camped out looking for opportunities to raise havoc.

My next door neighbor just spent 2 weeks in the hospital for some kind of horrible infection. The neighbor directly across the street fell off his roof and broke his ankle. Old Briney across the cul-de-sac fell over and dinged himself up. I keep expecting to come home and find one of the houses has imploded!