Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, April 26, 2013

Note To Self: Don't Skip The Cigar!

More Fun & Games From The Subconcious Mind

I was absolutely exhausted last night.  I didn't get a whole lot of sleep Wed. night, and Thursday began with a pre-dawn wakeup and a drive across town to make an early-morning appearance at one of The Man's functions.

Any hopes of leaving early were dashed upon the arrival at the office, where a stack of phone calls and emails awaited, each one from some surly plaintiff looking for their piece of the pie.  And add some ice cream & sprinkles, you do-nothing civil servant!!

My usual post-prandial cigar on the front porch was skipped in favor of an early mattress-collapse.  Have you ever sunk into the bed, wrapped up in your Woobie, and almost cried tears of joy because you could finally get some sleep?  Well, me either, but it was a near thing...

I'm not supposed to take either NSAIDS, Aspirin or Acetaminophen due to some drug interaction issues.  This leaves opiates and alcohol as pain-relievers, and I can't do the liquor 'cause it fucks with my blood sugar, and opiates are out just on general principles.   Still, there are some nights when the various aches & pains get to be too much, and I'll power down a double-dose of naproxen and hope I don't wake up having grown a flipper or two.

So, dosed with painkillers, we enter dreamland.  And boy, was it a doozy...

First was a newscast-type dream where the Norks had flooded over the 38th Parallel en masse, their tanks driving deep into South Korea.  It was eerily realistic, so much so that when I was jolted awake, I grabbed for my cell phone to bring up a news feed and make sure it wasn't really happening.

Next was a long drawn-out adventure starring my much-missed VW GTI.  It had developed a spacious TARDIS-like interior, and also the ease of repair of a VW air-cooled Beetle. the dream involved traveling through west Texas and numerous small towns, for no apparent purpose.

It was fun working that stickshift again, even if it was just a dream...

Next up was a large pickup terrorizing the neighborhood street. One of those jacked-up mudding trucks was circling the cul de sac raising havoc, and I finally had enough and started loading up a pump shotgun.

Alas, someone had replaced my shotgun hulls with CVS Pharmacy pill bottles.  All the powder, wadding and buckshot were in there, but the child-proof safety lids wouldn't cycle through the pump shotgun's action, and the harder I slammed the action shut, the worse they got jammed in there.

I dunno whether that was my subconcious commenting on the futility of war, or the inevitable collapse of government-run healthcare.  Either way, it wasn't much fun...

So, a cigar for certain tonight.  A high enough level of nicotine keeps the dreams from getting too weird!