Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Monday, May 13, 2013

Ribs? No. Those Were Pork-flavored Ass Bones...

Stick To Beans & Chowdah, You Pissahs!

Making good ribs is not a hard thing to do.  It does take time and attention, but nothing along the lines of calculating your taxes, or even building a birdhouse.

You can do it with a beer in your hand.  You can do it half in the bag from bourbon.  You just gotta remember...  Keep the smoke flowing, keep the heat low, and for pete's sake, don't poke fork holes in the slab.

Boston Market apparently cannot make ribs.  They do a pretty respectable job with a rotisserie chicken, which is why I gave 'em a try Friday night.

To the best of my understanding based on the end product, here's how they made their ribs:

Step One - Slice into half racks.

Step Two - Pile half racks into a stock pot.

Step Three - Boil for several hours until chewy.

Step Four - Douse in BBQ sauce, put in oven pan, slide under warmer.  Leave there all day. Sell to unsuspecting people and hope they don't get PO'ed enough to drive back and fling bad ribs over the counter.

While the end product did fall off the bone, it was more of the "stewed into decomposition" tender, not the end result of 12 hours of wood smoke.

Adding insult to injury, they shorted me a side of creamed spinach...  Boston Bastards...