Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

My Photo
Location: Texas, United States

Wednesday, June 05, 2013

A Rant A Day Keeps The Doctor At Bay

Just Blowing Off Some Steam...

OK, Rant #1:

If you're going to interrupt my day to stop and ask me directions, do both of us a favor and reach across and punch your fucking harridan wife in the face so she shuts up!  Nothing pisses me off more than trying to tell you how to get from Point A to Point B than some clueless bint arguing with me, and basically calling me a liar.  Look, you clueless cow, if you knew how to get there, you'd be there by now.

Rant #2:

The got-damn bikers are now even more insufferable.  Aside from the usual  practice of wearing spandex ass-pirate pants and poofter helmets as they tie up the roadways, they've managed to get an ordinance passed making them virtually untouchable.  That means no more SuperSoakers out the passenger window and honking at them when they drop your evening commute down to 20 mph.  Fuck you, bikers.  Go run on the velodrome, not the city streets.  It's why they built the damn thing.

Rant #3:

You know why you didn't get the job?  It's not because The Man is hating on your particular race.  It's because when you call up, you whine incessantly and order us around like peons, never say thank you, and that chip on your shoulder makes it too hard to fit through the Personnel office door.  Word gets around, and your resume and application just sorta migrates over to the circular file.

It's not because you're (Insert Race Here).  It's because you're an asshole.

Rant #4:

Fuck You, Amazon!!!  You know got-damn good & well that they're not going to release Season Four of 'Justified' on DVD until effin' JANUARY 2014, but you keep teasing me with ads for it.  It's not until you click on the link that you see (in teensy print) "Available for pre-order".  BLOW ME!!!