Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, February 10, 2006


I Know Too Much Now...

Ever see something you weren't meant to see? Something that might lead to your person being placed in immediate peril? I think I just did...

Got home last night, choked down a Sonic chicken sammich and some cheesy poofs while watching an episode of BSG I bought off of iTunes. Then, instead of the usual 2+ hours of blogsurfing and/or gaming, I fell victim to the bed's gravitational pull and hit the rack very early.

Usually the cats come & go all night, and I can usually feel them hop up on the bed. I was absolutely dead to the world last night, and even Betsy Cat's puffy tail across my nose barely made me stir.

I woke up about midnight, sort of disoriented and woozy, and saw that the bedside lamp was still on. Betsy Cat was parked next to me, and somehow she looked... odd.

Normally, Betsy Cat is a smoke-colored cat. She's got pure white belly & down layer topped with dark grey guard hairs, making for a nice two-tone effect that's enhanced by her abundant fuzziness.

When I woke up though, I would swear on a stack of stroke mags that Betsy Cat was a dark beige shade, kinda like the color of a cardboard box. I remember saying "what the hell??" and reaching out to pet her.

See, I thought she'd been spelunking under the bed again, and was maybe covered in dust. No cloud erupted from her back when I ruffled her fur, so that wasn't it.

Well, surely she wasn't rolling in the Clorox bleach. Still kind of half-asleep, I got up, went to the laundry room just to make sure. Nope, everything was shipshape and Bristol fashion there.

I get back to the room, turn on the overhead light, and Betsy Cat is grey-colored. Just sitting there, slowly twitching her tail as she gave me The Stare. Uh oh.

I could swear this cat had changed colors. Come to think about it, it *would* explain a lot of the ongoing cat mysteries. All those times you just can't find the cat. The episodes when the cat escapes and gets outside, this could easily be solved if the cat was blending into the wallpaper by the front door!

Methinks I awoke unexpectedly, and caught Betsy Cat in mid-change. Doubtless a leak like this would be a huge catastrophe in the Cat Coalition's eternal struggle for planetary domination, except for the fact that no one's gonna believe me. I'll end up like the UFO & Bigfoot nutters and the Tinfoil Hat brigade.

I think I'm locking 'em out of the bedroom from here on out... I probably know too much, and will have to be eliminated!

Cats can't really suck your breath out, right???