Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I'm Not Buyin' It!!

Another Immaculate Conception?

I have a new cousin.

Well, a second cousin, or third cousin thrice removed, or however that works...

Here's the story:

My mom's cousin has a daughter. Well, she has two daughters, but the first one got married and had a kid last summer.

The younger daughter (I'll call her Blondie, for various reasons...) hatched her first one sometime in the last month. I'm kind of fuzzy on the date, 'cause no one knew she was pregnant.

Including Blondie.

As the story goes, she was out walking her dog in the park, when the little dog was set upon by another mutt. In the ensuing kerfuffle, she took a dive and got banged up a bit. Dog was fine, Blondie had to go into the hospital a couple of days later for severe abdominal pains.

At the hospital, it was revealed that not only was she pregnant, but they delivered the baby two days later.

Now, I'm assuming that the kid was at least 7 or 8 months along, and judging from the blurry cell-phone picture mailed out by my Mom's cousin, it's at least 6-7 lbs, so it's not exactly a tiny baby.

Both cousin and daughter swear on a stack of Bibles that neither had a clue about the pregnancy.

I might buy the story if Blondie was the size of a Buick, and the kid was lost in a vast cavernous abdomen. She is most definitely not a fat girl. Here's a pic taken last spring of Blondie (in the red dress) and her sister:

At the very least, you'd think she might have missed the monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Even as spacey as she is, she had to know that having sex + missing period = Time to pee on a stick and see what's up.

OK, there's always female reproductive system irregularities, but I just don't see how they missed it.

If you're of the female persuasion and have carried a child to term, please chime in and let me know if there's any way this scenario was possible. Blondie's a sweet kid, and other than the very real possibility of her absentmindedly leaving the kid behind somewhere because she's texting on her cell phone 24/7, she'll be a good mom.

I hope...