Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Never Mix Fast Food!

You'd Think I'd Know Better By Now...

Man, what a night...

It was pretty damn cold last night, and I wasn't feeling all that great about the cold KFC chicken sitting in the fridge awaiting me for dinner.

So, I called an audible and changed up the play at the line of scrimmage, and instead of heading home, pulled into the local Wendy's drive thru for some chili.

Two of their large chilis with onions would have set me straight, but they were out of the large cups.  Sigh.  OK, two small chilis to go...

Shoulda gotten three.  I was still hungry.  So, the chicken got consumed.  And I learned you shouldn't mix KFC and Wendy's.

4 hours later, the adventure began.  Dreams to make you doubt your sanity...

I was in Kansas City, Missouri.  I know this because I was in a decrepit van wandering down broken & torn up suburban streets until we came to a town square that had a large building labeled "Kansas City, Missouri".

This is kind of odd, 'cause to my recollection, I've never visited Kansas City, Missouri.  I might have passed through on I-35 coming back from Canada, once.

OK, once the locale was established, things got weirder.  I was in an old building watching my cousin Becky and some other person dissect a corpse.  Becky's a nurse, so this made a certain amount of sense, but the corpse kept floating off the table and getting batted around by the ceiling fan.

Later, I was forced to join a work crew building a pipeline out of 3" PVC pipe.  My job was to smear pipe sealant on each joint.  Instead of PVC cement, this appeared to be oatmeal mixed with sand.

The purpose of the pipeline was to feed an enormous quantity of gelatin to a theater, where Monty Python was going to perform a sketch called "Cockneys In Aspic".  I kept getting bitched out by John Cleese for not working hard enough, until I quit and went home.

Sometime after that, I woke up.  I was still kinda hungry.

But not for aspic...