Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Monday, October 31, 2011

Photo Blogging

Trick-Or-Treaters Beware!!!
I Have A Garden Hose, And I'm Not Afraid To Use It!!

Here's a random sample of stuff I found on the web and here in H-Town:


Just a bit of Armor-All, and that vinyl top's as good as new!!

I don't think this is enforceable...
(Backstory: Some movie production company took over the ground floor of my office last week. Since it's owned by The Man, and business was still being conducted, this sort of blanket media release statement is just not gonna fly. Someone needs a better IP attorney!)

Remind me never to eat celery again.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

The Suck, It Is Intense...

Maybe Next Year!!

The Hysterics at Eric's is in full swing, and I'm still here in Texas...

They've got a live feed on Eric's website, so I'm still able to catch the Elderly Brothers concert, and even got to join in on 'Sloop John B' and a couple of others within my meager guitar skills.

Maybe by next year I'll have the chops to keep up with a few more!

Oh, man... Now they just jumped into "Johnny B. Goode'! I am so missing being there!!!

UPDATE: Someone either closed up the laptop, or knocked over the camera... No more feed!!!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Yeah, I've Heard That Before...

Happy Happy Joy Joy!!

Got called on the carpet this afternoon.

I was pretty sure it was for a reaming out on my foot-dragging regarding the planned move down to the HR floor. I'm now the sole remainder of our happy band of warrior-bureaucrats left on the 7th floor, and though my shiny new cubicle has been built out and wired for sound, I'm still not packed up, and don't plan to be until after Xmas, if I get my way. Sooner or later, someone on the 4th floor will vapor-lock or get eaten by zombies, and an office will open up.

The other possibility was a chewing-out over an assigned compensation policy revision that's a week overdue. I had a sidebar discussion with one of the high muckity-mucks who let it slip that they're not really expecting to complete the Admin Policy revisions until after the holidays, so I've been keeping it on the back burner.

It turned out to be the polar opposite from an ass chewing.

It was a promotion and a raise.


See, I mentioned back in June that they were going to bump me up one pay grade and give me an official HR job title, to replace the one I had while serving in The Man's Office. There wasn't a salary increase to go with it, though, much to my chagrin.

I've been waiting since then to actually SEE the upgrade happen. Week after week, The Man's official HRIS database insisted I was still in my same job classification.

The unofficial story is that they were waiting to do a salary equity adjustment study, and that delayed the paperwork. The real story, as related by the Records Gnomes in the basement, was that one of two aforementioned high muckity-mucks lost the paperwork, and refused to admit it.

So, in theory, anyway, I should be getting the pay grade bump after all, and the salary bump is just a pleasant surprise.

Whether this actually happens remains to be seen. Ask me in another 6 months...

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Lucky Number Seven

This Is Post # 2,362, On The Off Chance You're Counting.

Y'know, I almost let this one slip by unannounced!

I spent all last week planning to do a big post on October 26th for the 7th year of the Baboon Pirates blog, then found out last night that my actual start date was on Oct. 23rd.


Well, wouldn't be the first time I've scrod the cod in the pursuit of bloggy amusement.

Holy shit. Seven years of blogging.

Doing the math, it appears I've spent 1/6 of my life pounding out blogposts. That's kinda sobering, considering most of the frothy spew on here is largely for my own amusement, and very rarely qualifies as serious commentary on the human condition.

Still, all work and no play makes Jack a cranky old bastard. I'd like to think I've brought a bit of fun into people's lives. There's a solid core of readers that have managed to keep coming back day after day for just about my entire blogging career. For that I humbly thank you.

I can't promise I'll keep this up for another 7 years. To quote Jimbo at a blogmeet long ago: "Are we gonna still be doing this when we're 80?"

Probably so, Jimbo. Probably so...

Thanks again for dropping by, y'all!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Geese & Dope Don't Mix

Next Time, Blow Smoke At The Goose...

My sister and her kids were here this weekend. As a result, I'm pretty frazzled as a result of trying to keep up with two rugrats all weekend.

On Sunday, as my sister was loading the truck to return home, she mentioned that there was some weed smoke drifting in from somewhere.

Sure enough, some of the neighbor kids were sneaking a toke or two of the marijohoonie out behind their garage. Since their garage and mine are separated by a board fence and less than 10 feet of space, their choice of hideouts was less than inspired.

Adding to the fun was their pet goose. Territorial beasts that they are, it was taking noisy exception to the presence of one of the hopheads, and kept up a constant gabbling racket during their herbal interlude.

I thought about leaning over the fence and recommending that they go elsewhere, but truth be told, I've done a bit of hiding behind the garage myself back in days of yore, so I let 'em have their moment.

Word to the wise: Pen up the goose before you light up the bong!!

Saturday, October 22, 2011


This Post Brought To You By Too Much Healthy Food

So, which are you hungry for??

A pint of Schweddy Balls?

Some of Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls?

Or just a McRib patty without any BBQ sauce?

Friday, October 21, 2011

Go, Rangers!

Mmmm.... Fried Cardinal!

Here's some World Series advice:

When walking to the plate, remember to grasp your bat firmly!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

One Of Those Days...

"BITCH BITCH BITCH" Bitched The Beeeyotch

Didn't think this day would ever end!

Burning desire for a quart or two of anaesthetic...

Which one do y'all think would induce oblivion quicker?

T-Bird sez "Serve Cold"

Night Train sez "Serve Very Cold"

Kinda like how revenge is best served...

Monday, October 17, 2011

A-Croc-Palypse Now

Someone Tell Jimbo To Stay Out Of Floods!

Never get out of the boat...

And while you're at it, keep your ass in the car, too!

That scaly bastard's gotta be 16 feet long!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

WTF Is A Cherpumple?

Some Cooks Have Too Much Time On Their Hands...

OK, let me see if I understand the concept.

You take a pumpkin pie, and bake it inside of a spice cake.

You bake an apple pie inside of a yellow cake.

You bake a cherry pie inside of a white cake.

Once that's done, you stack them atop one another, then slather the whole thing in cream cheese icing and dump sprinkles on top.

I'm not sure whether to eat it, or worship it as an avatar of Gluttony...

(Click pic for extreme sugar-shock)

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Air Up There

Hope You Don't Mind The Wind!

Some jobs just wouldn't be much fun.

First of all, you're stuck on a 16' X 2' sliver of aluminum for 8 hours a day.

Second, you're WAYYYYY THE F#&% UP THERE!!!!

I don't worry too much about them dropping a drill or a hammer. Gravity has its way, and they fall straight down.

OTOH, if they drop a trowel, a squeegee or a slab of granite facing or anything that has the slightest tendency to act as an airfoil??

That scares the crap out of me...

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Random Bits Of Humor

It's Only Wednesday? Damn!!

I'm on the road a lot this week, so in lieu of actual content, here's some amusing pics I've found!


UPDATE: D'oh! Almost forgot the funniest one!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Motivational Inspiration!

I Laughed About This All Day!!

Inspired by a comment made during lunch at the Smoke & Powder Crawl this past weekend:

Monday, October 10, 2011

Busy Weekend

We're Gonna Need A Bigger Humidor!

Oh, man. I'm getting too old for this much fun on a weekend...

Saturday was the 15th annual W. Houston Smoke & Powder Crawl. This was my 5th year to join the crew for a day of stogies and shooting.

As usual, the day started at the American Shooting Center. A bit of a hitch this year, as the drought-induced burn ban in the surrounding county park forced a no smoking effect at the gun range. So, we could fire up the guns, but not the cigars...

My buddy the Cisco Kid attended again this year, as did the Layabout Sailor. None of us placed in the shoot-off. We're blaming high winds and excessively small steel plates!

Not a bad day of shooting. The .45 Auto was running well with the new compensator attached. I broke a hand spring on the .45 Long Colt hogleg, which is annoying, but it's an easy fix.

The rest of the day was spent wandering around west Houston cigar shops and watering holes, and as they say, a good time was had by all.

I arrived home ready to collapse until morning, only to be greeted by two small whirlwinds wanting to jump on Uncle Matt. Sis, BIL and the kids were in town for the Ultimate Fighting show downtown.

Sammy was much impressed with Uncle Matt's guitar, and wants one for Xmas. He wants "a cool rock & roll guitar", though. Not an acoustic!

Gracie was very sad that I had no pets anymore, and helped me to sort through choices for a new one. She thought I should get another cat, as dogs "will poop & pee in your bedroom", a pig was "too oinky", an alligator was "too bitey", a turtle was "too swimmy".

I also learned from Gracie that hippos exist entirely on buckets of grapes. Good to know, I suppose!

Of course, with two house-apes visiting, there's no sleeping late on Sunday. There's a perfectly good couch in the den, but it's apparently more comfortable to lounge atop Uncle Matt as he tries to fall back to sleep!

After they left, I braved the monsoon & traveled over to the ManCave & watched the Texans lose a tight game. Well, the Raiders needed a win today, I suppose.

Up early tomorrow for another trip out to the HPD Academy, so off to bed...

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Houston Was Occupied!

I Wanted Tear Gas, Dammit!!

Well, sort of occupied.

The local offshoot of the Occupy Wallstreet group descended on Houston this morning.

Houston didn't really notice...

Since I work downtown, I was able to walk over to City Hall and snap a few photos of the protest. Then, of course, I had to return to work. I didn't have the leisure to hang out all day and make noise and wave signs.

According the the local fishwrapper, they gathered at Chase Tower at 9 AM, then marched on City Hall. They had the usual mix of bongo drums, megaphones and the same three tired chants that you hear at every protest. The crowd was a mix of young college kids, pseudo-political hipsters, and aging Marxists.

Here's a few crowd shots:

There were 8 or 10 mounted cops, about the same on bikes, and perhaps a dozen uniforms standing at strategic locations. They had their "crowd control batons" aka solid chunks of hickory instead of the usual collapsing batons.

Alas, the crowd was well-behaved, and there were no hippies beaten today.

Damn the bad luck...

The cops weren't too worried. They didn't have their A-List out for the event. Mostly the deskbound, aged and/or overweight.

Here's Castle Anthrax & the protestors:

They hung out all day. As I was leaving work at 6 PM, they were haranguing the passers-by on Smith Street.

Anonymous, his brother Anonymous, and his other brother Anonymous were there!

I'm still not quite sure what they're protesting. Most of 'em were well-fed, healthy and carrying umpteen hundred dollars in electronic gadgets.

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

Macbeth - Act 5, Scene 5

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Current Mood: Forlorn

I Even Miss The Cat Yak On The Bed...

Just not feeling the urge to blog.

Maybe tomorrow.

Sunday, October 02, 2011

And Then There Were None.

Felis Secundus Mortuus Est

Pookie Cat died this morning. I am now completely out of household felines.

Pookie was diagnosed with lymphatic cancer this summer. Not having the wherewithal to try chemotherapy and radiation on a 13? year old cat, I had the vet remove some tumors and I'd hoped to slow the progress of the cancer with steroids.

There were some complications from the surgery. With a big section of her lymph nodes removed, Pookie's paw never healed very well. Still, she was eating, drinking and using the litterbox, so I kept my fingers crossed and hoped she'd last a while longer.

I thought she was rallying last weekend. She was out wandering around, grooming herself and if not acting exactly spry, at least she wasn't holed up under the bench in my office.

By Wednesday, though, she had quit eating, and by Friday I was making arrangements with the SPCA to have her put to sleep Monday morning.

I came in yesterday afternoon and found her stretched out on the floor in the den. That was her usual spot for catching rays and whiling away the afternoon. She was so weak, she barely twitched a tail when I picked her up and carried her back to the food & water bowls. She purred and burbled at me, and I wished I'd held her longer.

She was sitting up under the bench at 6 this morning, but when I came back in at 9 she was gone. Carlos the Unreliable is coming over this morning to help me dig her grave. He and Pookie used to meow at each other for hours while he was over here working on projects.

I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do without a cat in the house. They'll probably come get me for lurking in my neighbor's bushes and nabbing their cats, running off and mumbling "I'll hug him and squeeze him and pet him and name him George!"

Sigh. Poor Pookie. I will miss you. Sleep well, my fat goofy kitty.

Saturday, October 01, 2011

Points To Ponder

Mmmmm! Smoothie!