Poetry For @$$holes

Why?  Because I Care!


When, in the cause of immortal art;
thou wishest to enshrine the elusive fart,

You swaddle thy nethers in huge plastic bagges,
then consumeth thine weight in hard-cook'd eggs.

Wash the hen-fruit down with schooners of ale,
and forget not to slurpeth some clabber as well!

Dance for a day whilst rubbing thy belly,
ensuring the creation of thick colon jelly!

When intestinal pressure becomes too much to bear,
Lie thineself down with your legges in the air!

Inflate the bagges fully, and seal 'em up tight,
then send them to friends via FedEx Overnight!

Here endeth the lesson.  And likely, the friendships...

Those Damned Eye-talians...

"Tiramisu" means "I Ate It All"

Couldn't stick with the irresistible pastas and sauces, could you?

Oh, no....

Couldn't just produce dee-licious vino, including the sublime Amarone, and the majestic Barolo?

It wasn't enough to tempt us with perfectly aged Parmigiano-Reggiano, or the tang of a nicely preserved sopressata?

Oh, no.  You had to do it.  You had to whip up desserts, too.

You  bastards.  I publicly shamed myself with a tray of homemade tiramisu this weekend, and I BLAME YOU, LUIGI!!

The delights of mascarpone layered over espresso-soaked cakes...

The deep dark sprinkling of cocoa over the custard...

I went back for THIRDS, you evil sonsabitches!

The only reason I quit before licking the pan clean was the fear that the few remaining insulin-producing cell clusters in my pancreas would pop before the onslaught of rampaging blood glucose levels, the carnage akin to an OCD kid with a fresh sheet of bubble wrap...

*BURP*

Sooper-Seekret Project Is Complete!

Because Race Gun!

Complete?  Well, for certain values of complete, anyway...

OK, here's how it began late last year:

A bone-stock Ruger Mk III 22/45, with polymer frame and fixed sights, & threaded barrel.

I've got a couple of .22LR wheelguns, but since I sold the Smith & Wesson 2214 some years back, I'd been lacking a .22 autoloader.

I dithered between the Browning Buckmark, the Walther P22, the SIG Mosquito and various flavors of the Ruger Mk I, II, III.

The pot-metal slides on the Walther and SIG ruled those out, and the sheer amount of aftermarket crap for the Rugers had me leaning heavily that way.  The selling factor was the good price and the factory-threaded barrel on the Ruger 22/45.

The other bennie is the matching grip angle and controls the Ruger shares with the 1911.  It's a lot cheaper plinking with .22 LR than with .45 ACP, and sharing the same manual of arms is a plus.

And so it began...

I dropped a hint or two on the blog along the way.  The first post dealt with the PITA of removing the loaded chamber indicator & replacing it with a static dustcover.

Got that one worked out, and then it was on to the next upgrade!

And I learned what a *real* PITA was...

Enter the hellish world of mounting a Picatinny rail.  Have I mentioned that I hate rails?

They do make a rail specifically for my model of 22/45.  The problem is that rail extends back over the rear sight dovetail, requiring the removal of the rear sight.

This was unacceptable.  I wanted a rear sight.  If your optic goes tits-up, you can whip out your multitool, pull it, and go with iron sights.

So, I used the Tactical Solutions rail meant for the Pac-Lite aluminum receiver.  Fits like a charm.  Almost.

See, the Pac-Lite receiver is threaded for #6-40 countersunk screws, and that's what it shipped with.  The Ruger receiver has #6-48 tapped holes.  Try finding a set of those no longer than 1/8" in your local hardware store...

I eBayed around, and finally got the right size screws, but they still didn't fit, leading to my second bitch-fest on the blog about the problem.

In short, it was a screw head problem.  The screws had oval, not countersunk heads.  They didn't hold the rail tight enough.

I could order a gross lot of countersunk screws for $50, or I could get creative.

This is creative: (Pix from here on will embigginate when clicked)





  

The above pic shows a different method of shimming the screw in place. Left to right, that's a tiny copper ring, a #6 flat brass washer torqued into a cone, and finally a #6 steel lock washer.  Each one worked equally well, but I ran across a nickel-plated brass countersunk washer that was just about perfect. 

See?

Shiny, but workable.

I did say *just about* perfect.   I had to stack two of the washers in the rear hole, otherwise the tiny 1/8" long mounting screw still managed to drive itself down into the recoil spring and prevented the action from moving.

Also, I had to hacksaw off the last little rail segment so the rear sight would fit.  Some sandpaper, and judicious application of a Sharpie marker to all the shiny bits, and it looks (almost) anodized...

So, the rail was on.  Now to go inside the pistol again!

In no particular order or grade of PITA-ness, the following upgrades were accomplished:

*Trigger replaced with Volquartsen match trigger, with pre-travel and over-travel set screws.
(In the pic, you can also see the long, slim steel piece that fills the hole in the frame formerly occupied by the Loaded Chamber Indicator)

*Magazine disconnect removed and hammer bushing replaced.
Gun will now fire without the magazine in place. (this is a good thing!)

*Factory firing pin & extractor replaced with Volquartsen precision pin & extractor.

*Wolff spring set installed.

*Hogue grip installed.

*Fixed rear sight replaced with click-adjustable rear sight.

*Front sight replaced with fiber-optic sight.

*MadMacc's Precision compensator installed.

 And finally, the whole shebang is topped off with a SightMark holographic sight.
You can choose between Red Dot, Dot & Cross, CircleDotCross, or Donut of Death.

And when you're all done, it looks like this!

Still on the To-Do list?
Perhaps the replacement of the hammer & sear, though a good polishing may clean that mess up.
And, of course, the trip to the range to see how it does on the set of steel plates!

Because Race Gun!!

Y'all Could At Least *Try*...

Where's The Carnival of Cordite When You Need It??

OK, no takers in the Trigger Quiz (rifle edition).

Here's the answers:

Marlin Mod. 60 .22 LR
BRNO VZ-24 (Mauser clone)  8mm Mauser
Swiss K31 - 7.5 x 55
Savage Model 19 NRA Match - .22 LR
Brazilian DWM Mauser Action- .257 Roberts Ackley Improved
FN49 - Venezuelan 7mm Mauser variant
Stoeger Coach Gun - 12 ga double
Rossi Model 92 clone - .45LC
Sveedish Mauser - 6.5 x 55 Mauser
Chinese SKS - 7.62 x 39
Homebrewed AR clone - 5.56 x 45

Now, The Rifles!

I Kinda Wish I Had An Old Matchlock Trigger...

OK, this one is a bit harder than the pistol version.

Still, there are shortcuts available!  You've got a good chance of being partially correct on several choices by guessing "Mauser Bolt Action"!

Good Luck!

Triggering A Solution

It Only Gets Harder From Here On Out!

Y'all could at least guess at a couple.

Kudos to KurtP for trying, anyway!

The answers:

Ruger Vaquero
Ruger Bearcat
Ruger Redhawk
1911A1
Eye-Talian SAA clone
Ruger Speed-Six
Ruger Single-Six Old Model
Smith & Walther PPK  (U.S. Made PPK by S&W)
Steyr M40 (The OTHER Austrian plastic pistol)
Mauser 1896 Broomhandle "Red 9"

Trigger Time

Let's Play A Guessing Game...

Once again, in an attempt to impersonate a gun blog (or a reasonable facsimile thereof...) here's some original content that involves firearms!

For insurance reasons, I sat down with notepad & camera and recorded serial numbers and descriptions of the gun vault.  I'm pretty sure I got everything, but I can almost guarantee that one or two have slipped through the cracks. 

In fact, now that I think about it, my old cap & ball .36 Navy is still in a desk drawer turning into an iron oxide gun-shaped object, as is an old broken .22 autoloader.  Ooops...

Might as well have some fun with the pics!

Below are a collection of handgun triggers.   Try and guess what they belong to!
(Hint:  If you guess "Ruger", you've got an overall 50% chance of being correct...)

Along Comes Ralph...

It's Not All Sad News!

Saturday afternoon I motored over to San Marcos to do the Xmas thing with my sister & parents.  Sis and BIL decided to get another paycheck in the bank before splurging on gifts, so Xmas was delayed for a few days.

Naturally, I lost the gift card to Justice I'd planned on giving my niece sometime in the previous week.  So, I had to raid the wad of cash I was giving Sis & BIL to make up for it.  As always, the parents get the sharp end at Xmas...

Sammy enjoyed his Nerf rifle and Texas A&M jersey.  They both gave a meager "meh" at the collection of hardbound Donald Duck comics.  Well, they're just too young to appreciate the genius of Carl Barks!

I came out all right.  Sis gave me a couple of 30 round PMAGs for my AR, and a jar of cherry moonshine.  Mom came through with the Harry Potter movie collection and Season Four of 'Justified'.

The most interesting part of the trip was meeting the newest family member, Ralph.

Here's Ralph:

Ralph is some kind of scroungy mutt they picked up from a friend.  He didn't like me much at first, but a pocket full of Milkbones and an afternoon of cajoling will sway even the most suspicious hound.

Sammy & Grace adore Ralph, and even though he does smell a bit doggy (in spite of weekly baths), he does seem to be a nice addition to their family.

Kinda nice having a dog around.  Might have to give that idea some more thought...

More Sad News

Sorry To Be Such A KillJoy...

My Uncle Robert passed away yesterday evening.

I've been spending a lot of time pondering the imponderables, and hoping I've got the wisdom & gumption  to make the changes necessary to add 20+ years to the backside of my life.  We shall see.

In any case, if you've got a spare prayer or two, point it towards my mother.  Robert was her baby brother, and they were very close.

Slo-Mo Staycation

Lamecation Also Works As A Title

Note to self:  When taking a vacation, GO THE F#%K SOMEWHERE!!

Sitting around the house is not nearly as enjoyable as I imagined.  Restful?

Well, not really.

See, Uncle Robert, who was previously dying, then not dying, is now dying again.

He was rallying for a couple of weeks, but took a turn for the worse a couple of days ago.

So, every time the phone rings, it's got that element of suspense to it.  Not good for a restful vacation.

Verbum Sapienti Satis Est:  If any of y'all are still pulling tobacco smoke into your lungs, cut that shit out.  Please.  This is what it leads to.   Hooked up to tubes in an ICU.

That is all.  More later...